FEELINGS POST

I’m heading back to Tongariki tonight on the cargo ship. It’s sort of a bittersweet moment realizing that this is my second year teaching out there. Time has gone so quickly.

On the one hand, Tongariki is an incredible place. My host parents are amazing. Everyone is so kind and friendly towards me. My life, at times, feels like I’m just in a tropical island paradise. And it all happened just because of coincidence—I applied at X time, I took Y number of months to make it all the way through my medical and legal clearance, so I left at Z time, to go to Vanuatu. What if I’d applied earlier? Would I be freezing in Mongolia right now? I mostly can’t believe how lucky I am to be here.

On the other hand, I had it confirmed that there will not be another volunteer in the Shepherds in the next group. That means that it’s just me now. Last year, I was on an island by myself, but I had Monica an hour away and Stephanie four hours away, so I didn’t feel quite as alone. Now it’s for real—the nearest volunteers are going to be an overnight ship away from me. That’s alone. I have the community to support me and I don’t usually feel lonely out there. But it’s a little intimidating to realize that this is where I’m at, now.

I’ve spent the weekend since coming back from Fiji finishing a water project grant, getting supplies for a map project, and buying all the things I think I’ll need for the next five months. Five months. Nowadays when I go shopping, it all feels different—I guess how much of everything I might need and want. I’ve got 30 rolls of toilet paper, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, soap, bleach, oatmeal, lentils, vinegar, tea, tuna fish, notebooks, new towels, laundry soap, and that’s about it. If I need anything else, I’ll have to ask someone to pick it up for me in town. How weird is that? And I don’t feel like I can come back in the middle of the term because I’m going to be teaching class 6 this term as their real, full time teacher. I can’t abandon them just to get some more snacks, you know?

I feel like everything just got turned up a notch, and I am excited, but nervous, too. This has been such a real, exhilarating, weird and sometimes just depressing and demoralizing experience. It’s been a real trip and I’m looking forward to seeing where else this takes me. I know that the second I’ll get back on Tongariki, I’ll feel better. It’s my home. I had a pretty lousy month back in September, and the second I got back to Tongariki, I felt like all of that was behind me. And it’s time to go back and get back to work—I’ve been away a long time. It’s hard, too, though, knowing that I have these challenges that even a lot of other volunteers can’t really empathize with. I guess this is just mid service mixed feelings—my life is so good and so bad and so weird, all at the same time.  I guess we’ll just have to see what happens.

I’m going to set a few blog posts to automatically update while I’m gone, but I don’t think I’ll be back in town before the end of May. Lukim yufala evriwan—it’s going to be an adventure.

(Me and my dad at the national museum. Adios!)

My neighbor Esther and her baby Monica

Isn't that the cutest baby? That's my neighbor Esther and her new baby, Monica. (My nearest volunteer neighbor was also named Monica ... Now I just need to get a namesake. Now who's pregnant?)

Meri Krismes!

Meri Krismes long Vanuatu! Mi lavem yufala tumas mo mi hop se yu gat wan gudfala holidei mo wan gud niu yia. God bles!

Mildly gross, but a part of island life!

Life, you know? One thing I find kinda weird about NiVans is how often people want to pose with dead animals. I know it's the same as a hunting trophy, but since I didn't grow up in a family that hunts ... It's a little different for me. Anyway, I was jogging back when some of my daddies sang out to me from the nakamal (thus my outfit.) From the left, that's Papa George, and in the middle is Papa Paul, who's my stret dadi here. The turtle got made into soup ... YUM.

Gift Giving and Respect

OK, so here I am with Monica on Buninga. I feel like I should try to make this blog a little more informative--maybe fewer pretty pictures?--and so this would be a good opportunity to explain what's going on.

This photo was taken at a birthday party/opening of Monica's water project. We're in new island dresses, with salu salu (like leis, but more scratchy), calico over our shoulders, extra dresses around the neck, and a shell of kava in our hands.

Basically, in Ni-Vanuatu culture, gift giving is very important. When a man pays bride price, he has to give lots of presents along with the money--pigs, calico, kava, bananas, et cetera. When anyone wrongs anyone, in performing a sorry (the ceremony to apologize and gain forgiveness for wrongs, sort of like what it sounds like), you have to give presents. No fair just going over and saying sorry--you need to give them a mat, at the very least. On Mothers', Fathers', and Children's Day, gift giving is just as important. On Tongariki, the community gathers together so that everyone can watch you give presents to your kids. It's the same when a government official comes--the community gives him mats and kava, and he'll present the mamas who cooked his meals with a fresh 5000 vt bill (~50$), no matter what the price is.

Gift giving is very socially important. It's a sign of respect, and it goes with the understanding that it should be reciprocated. For example--if one of the teachers gives you a dress, you should at some point give her a basket. If your neighbor gives you a plate of food, you should send the plate back with lollies. As far as I can tell, gift giving and just generally doing favors for your neighbors is so important because it's such a face-to-face society. In the States, I could be an unsociable hermit and order my pizza on the internet if I wanted to. On Tongariki, if I want to drink kava, it's a bit of a production--since I have to find someone else who's drinking it, convince them that they really want to chew up another bowl for me, and sit around and story until it's ready. It's not such a hardship, but it's much more personal.

Another aspect in this photo to be explained: so I did nothing with this water project. I had no role other than showing up for the party. And yet I got all of that swag. Buninga's done it before--I got a dress when I went there for Easter. The same thing has happened elsewhere--on Makira, I got a dress and two beautiful baskets from Steph's host family when I went to her last kakae, and on Emau, I got a dress from Lynn Marie's host mother when we went over to visit her. So what's this about?

Another huge thing in this culture is their hospitality. Melanesian hospitality is incredible. Even though I had nothing to do with the project (except showing up to eat cake), some of Monica's mamas made this really kind gesture of friendship towards me. And it's not just this--everywhere I've gone in the Shepherds, the mamas are so sweet and always send plates of island kakae over. I think the day after this photo was taken, Monica and I got eight plates at lunch. You can't beat that kind of hospitality.

T-2 days until my vacation

T-2 days until I go on vacation. So thrilled. This year in Vanuatu has been the most exhilarating, incredible, weird and occasionally disturbing year of my life. I love this place, but I'm ready to see my parents now.

I've spent a lot of time doing this sort of thing:

(Don't know, Florina/Florida, Eslyne, Elyse, Me, Joel, Andrina, Florida/Florina, No gat save)

and this sort of thing (ignore how I look):

(Mami Nerry, me)

and this sort of thing:

(Mami Esther, Me, Dadi Paul, Mami Jenita)









So I'd like a break. NZ/Vanuatu/Fiji with my parents, T-2! Hope they like Vanuatu ... Awo.

Two kiddos

Greg is wearing my sunglasses; Gina is like eighteen months old and cries when I so much as look at her. Whoooooooooppssss. Photo taken at a Bible Church lunch.